Dialogue with nature

Today, the air seems still.

In the pangs of silence, how vividly my emotions I feel !

Why have you stopped flowing, air ?

Flow like you used to, blowing away and bending things everywhere.

Flow once more so that I can lose myself in you.

For now I care for things and people few.

Look, even the flowers are not dancing their usual way !

Why do you all look so dull today ?

People have deserted me and so I am sad.

But, what makes you all feel so bad ?

The blue skies look so beautiful. I can stare at them forever.

Wish I could fly up to you and return to the earth never.

These earthly affairs have started hurting me.

I lay in chains but now I want to set free.

You give so freely, calmly and sweetly.

But you know – the mortal world behaves so selfishsly.

They live for themselves, thinking that a world stands here and  exists only for them.

They think they are the only wise ones – All go around thinking the same !

They often talk about truths that are cut and sized to fit their path, while they walk quietly on it.

They teach their kids – This is how the world. Now, go and live it.

Now doubt amidst these chaos, I had few moments to smile yet nevertheless I had my own share of sorrows, my friend.

I don’t know when shall this gloomy day in my life end.

I came to you to seek some solace, some inspiration.

But you today even you seem so silent as if waiting for someone in apprehension.

It is okay. Let you be yourself for now.

I will sit here amidst you, seeking solace somehow.

Subrat Mohanty

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My silence

Ask me not to speak my mind.

Mind is confused and words are hard to find.

Thoughts are monotonous,

Feelings are painful,

Intentions, at times grows rebellious,

World at times, appears dreadful.

For all the bad things that happened to me once,

For all the wrong doings – intentional or by chance,

Fill me with guilt, difficult to overcome.

I search for a hope, a reason to smile.

So that I can stay away from those memories, meanwhile.

They say – whatever happens, happens for good.

That is the excuse when life behaves a bit little rude.

I see my memories magnifying behind my words.

I do not want to utter any more words.

Only silence can understand me, I don’t understand words.

I pause here. Silence awaits for me beyond these words.

Subrat Mohanty

Importance of a faith

In moments of confusion, when you don’t know where to head

Having done what is to be done, Having said what is to be said,

When the whole world seems like a mute crowd to the play of your life,

When you start growing weary as if you are in the middle of some strife.

Logic justifies the present, faith defines a hope.

In the barren land of selfish motives, it is like a tiny crop.

Foolish it may seem according to the umpteen theories.

But those theories any way alleviate the soul from umpteen worries ?

Hope is infinite, logic is finite.

In life it is sometimes too difficult to say – what is wrong and what is right.

People say – it is hallucination.

A desperate utterance in trepidation.

From where do we come to life and then to where do we go ?

Why does the gravity acts down and why things are the way they are – did the logic ever know.

Theories stand on the pillars of assumptions.

What are they ? Nothing but figments of imaginations.

Imaginations in which you have faith.

Together the world, they holdeth.

Subrat Mohanty

Cacophony of thoughts

Things happen once but they continue to happen in our minds again and again all over,

The more you try to move them away, the more, like honey bees, they hover.

They sting at times – stinging silently behind the minds.

They run away somewhere just before one finds.

You cannot forget them, you cannot change them.

They seem so stubborn – hardly they leave, once they have came.

Life seems to have come to a standstill but you know it has to move on.

If no one understands you, sometimes you have to walk all alone.

A pinch of faith and an ounce of will.

Some times, that is all you need to deal.

Subrat Mohanty

Bidholi – A Rustic Life

(Bidholi is a small village located on the outskirts of Dehradun. I have been living in Bidholi since the year 2011. The poem is a recollection of my experiences at the place.)  

A pristine piece of land draped in a pall of stillness,

Far from the urban din and its craziness,

Where life unfolds at its own pace,

Living it happily with no dreams to chase.

The cattles being driven to graze their share of the day.

Besides them, even the herd of goats making their way.

Into the grounds, where the kids play their own version of cricket,

With unpolished bats and a column of bricks acting like a wicket.

As you walk down the pebbled paths, you hear the rustic tunes breaking into the wintry air.

Not too far from here, you can hear the speakers sounding the morning prayer.

Time seems to have slow down amidst these mountains standing tall.

You hardly know a day has passed with the sun rising and fall.

Amidst these rustic ways, life seems a soul stirring number.

Hearing it being played slowly, I pass off to my slumber.

Subrat Mohanty

The Wait

Time has passed and I have been yearning for long,

Silently waiting as my heart plays a solitary song.

With every passing moment, the time seems to slow down.

Every moment I feel, my destiny staring at me with a frown.

I don’t know my fault but every moment I am let down.

Thinking about it, my mind goes crazy.

I can’t understand. The world around me seems hazy.

Logic is fading, the emotions are hurting.

As they rise in the waters of minds like bubbles spurting.

Every moment, I wage a battle with my mind.

In hope of some solace that I seek to find.

But every moment, my future runs away from me.

My heart says- one day though,I shall see.

Subrat Mohanty

The castle of dreams

On a bright day, under the blue skies,

Sitting quietly at his lone spot, as the other kids fly kites.

Slowly gathering his share of sand,

To build his castle, the best on the land.

Chiselling away the edges with care,

Dumping sand and smoothening layer by layer.

He is deaf to the roars of the sea,

He is a piece of tender soul – innocent and free.

“Here is the way

to my grand castle where I will stay.

But where shall my parents stay ?

I will build another one for them.

And then I shall think what will be its name.

Hearing these innocent words, the sea laughed.

Sending out waves that dashed

The shores, washing his castle away.

The wind blew ferociously as the nearby trees did sway.

Slowly caressing the mound of sand, he looked to the sea

You broke my castle, you sea.

But I will build another one day, you will see.

Bigger than this, stronger than your waves.

You broke my castle but not my dreams, you waves.”

 –

Subrat Mohanty

My Childhood

I wish I could slip back in the lanes of time,

When I was a kid, once upon a time!

How naive and how tender did I feel then !

As I played my childish tricks, mischievous and insane.

Those endless fights with pillows.

Those imaginary palaces and tents made from blankets and pillows.

From mixing things up to breaking them,

When my mischief, I grinned with innocent shame.

How beautiful were those days !

One did appreciate the rain, the flowers, the sun and its rays.

A game of ball with friends, under the sun.

Hours and hours of endless and priceless fun.

And those countless paper planes and boats designed during leisure.

Seeing them fly and swim better than others with pride and pleasure

Memorable evenings filled with cartoons and super hero shows

And where each one did have a favourite to chose.

Time has flown by and my childhood is lost.

At times I long for it desperately wanting it back at any cost.

I search for it in computer games, in smartphones, in restaurants big and lavish.

Life has become so fake and slavish.

We appreciate a piece of sophistication.

Life has become a network of complexities sans any simplification

Our heads are full of logic and our hearts are often dry

Somewhere amidst the daily din, that little child within us does cry.

Subrat Mohanty

Mind

It seems so simple – you just have to be still,

To let what is happening around as you gently feel.

Feel each moment from a distance without drowning in it.

Seeing it, hearing it and yet not touching it.

Be yourself. Look into yourself in the still waters of your being.

Amidst the song of turbulence that your surroundings always does seem to sing.

Nevertheless, it is not so easy.

The mind is like a naughty kid – always so busy.

You chase it all your life.

You shout at it, you cry with it and yet you continue with it at strife.

Life sometimes seems a circus of confusion.

Where your mind plays many a trick much to your trepidation

You laugh, you cry

You smile and for a moment you just die !

Subrat Mohanty

Murmurs of a pyschopath

Now the world seems so confusing.

The silence within me seems so deafening.

As I stare at the world from a distance,

With a weary mind borne with nonchalant pretence.

I find it hard to grasp my words.

Before I catch them, they disperse like cattle herds.

I know not how to speak yet a lot of thoughts overburden my mind.

Sentences are incomplete and words are too vague to find.

Trust seems like a thorny mace.

It feels heavy-too heavy to keep in any case.

Scars of the past come alive.

Making life a challenge to survive.

I pause for a while to soak in the silence of my breath

I stay still trying to stand up tall in my own faith.

Subrat Mohanty